Change Requires Change

Why New Experiences Are the Key to Growth

Joshua Kruse, PhD

Most of us want to grow. We want to experience more peace, confidence, connection, or freedom in our lives. But often, we get stuck in the space between wanting change and actually living it out.

It’s important to understand something foundational: change requires change. If we want things to look, feel, or function differently—whether it’s in our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, or even how our body responds to stress—then something in our lived experience needs to shift.1

Information and insight are valuable first steps. Reading about mental health, hearing a helpful sermon, or listening to a podcast can all spark important moments of clarity. They give us language, vision, and direction.

But lasting transformation usually comes not just from what we know—but from what we experience.2

Why Experience Matters More Than Just Insight

You can know that it’s good to rest, but unless you experience healthy rest, your nervous system doesn’t know how to truly settle.

You can understand the concept of boundaries, but unless you practice saying no and experience safety afterward, you might still feel fear or guilt.3

Experience rewires us. It helps the deeper parts of our mind and body come into alignment with what we believe. That’s why the change process so often requires that we do something new—even when it’s hard or unfamiliar.

Where to Start: Define the Change You Desire

Change doesn’t have to be dramatic or sudden. It can begin with a clear, honest question:

  • What’s one thing I want to be different in my life?
  • What do I want to feel more of—or less of?
  • Where do I feel stuck or weary?

Once you identify the area of desired change, take time to envision what you would want that to look like. For example:

  • “I want to stop avoiding conflict and learn how to speak up.”
  • “I want to feel less anxious and more grounded in my body.”
  • “I want to live with more joy and less pressure.”

These are powerful desires. Yet they require new choices and new responses.

Why We Get Stuck

Even with a strong desire for change, we often hit internal resistance. Sometimes we stay in old patterns because they’ve become familiar—even if they’re uncomfortable. Other times we avoid growth simply because it brings up fear, or we doubt our own ability to change.

Naming these blocks is key. Once we’re aware of what might be holding us back—fear, self-doubt, or even comfort in dysfunction—we’re better positioned to gently move forward.4

So How Do You Actually Step Into Change?

Once you’ve named your goal and begun to understand your blocks, here’s what the process might look like:

Take One Step at a Time

You don’t have to overhaul everything at once. Look for a small, meaningful next step. Maybe that’s making a therapy appointment, reaching out to a friend, or practicing grounding during stress (see our Calming Your Nervous System blog).

Anticipate Resistance

Parts of your mind, body, and emotions may want to stay in the old way of functioning. That’s normal. You’re stepping into new territory—and that’s incredible.

Also expect inner resistance and potentially pushback from those around you. That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re growing.

Anchor Yourself in God’s Presence

God isn’t standing on the other side of change waiting for you to get it right. He’s walking with you into and through the change.5 When things feel scary or shaky, remember His promise:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
 — Joshua 1:9

You’re not doing this alone.

Celebrate Your Growth

Think about times in your life when something that once felt overwhelming now feels manageable. That’s proof of your capacity to change and adapt.

Just like strengthening muscles in a gym, every time you practice a new way of thinking, responding, or relating, you are building emotional and spiritual muscle.

Change Is Possible—And You’re Worth It

Change takes courage. It requires intention, awareness, and grace.

You’re not broken for feeling stuck. But you are invited into something more.

You can feel better. You can experience more peace. You can walk in freedom and strength—step by step, with God’s help and others alongside you.

  1. 10 Rules of Change by Stan A Goldberg, PhD at Psychology Today ↩︎
  2. No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel J Siegel ↩︎
  3. Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend ↩︎
  4. Breaking Old Patterns? Expect Psychological Withdrawal by Robert Tabbi ↩︎
  5. What does the Bible say about change? at Got Questions ↩︎